Bernard Pivot Blogfest

Today I'm taking part in Nicole Ducleroir's Bernard Pivot Blogfest. Here are my answers to ten questions.


What is your favorite word?  Serendipity. I love the way it sounds when you say it and the dictionary definition matches it lovely sound;  an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.


What is your least favorite word? I can't even type it on here. It's a nasty nasty word. 


What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally. Open spaces. Beautiful sights of the planet and quietness. 


What turns you off?  Hate. It's a negative emotion that benefits no-one, and hurts the person carrying it. 


What is your favorite curse word?  Crap. Having children, I have to think about what I'm saying and if I am going to accidentally swear in front of them (for instance at the point of injury) I want it to be pretty low key. 


What sound or noise do you love?  My children laughing. It can cure all. 


What sound or noise do you hate?  The sound of fairgrounds - people screaming and jangling bells. 


What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?  Volcanologist. I would love to go and work in an active volcano. I think the planet is an amazing place. 


What profession would you not like to do?  Accountant. I'm not a numbers person and sitting shuffling numbers all day would bore me to tears and give me a headache!


If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?  Your loved ones that are already here are in that direction. 


Visit Nicole's blog to see fellow bloggers responses.

The Day after Valentines

Ok, so yesterday I made a post saying how love isn't a one day affair and that romance is something you should show your loved one regularly. I also said how I feel that it's too commercial. Advertised to make money. Well, how did I do on valentines?

My husband and I agreed that it's commercialism only and we weren't partaking. So much so that I went out for something to eat with a friend after work. 

On the way home however, I got to wondering if hubby would buy me something and if he did, how bad I'd feel for not getting him anything. I knew we'd agreed not to, but I also know he likes to spoil me. So with those concerns I stopped at the local petrol station and picked up a Thornton chocolate teddy bear. 

I arrived home and duly handed over chocolate ted. Hubbys words "I didn't get you anything and now I feel guilty" which then served to make me feel guilty for breaking our agreement. 

I kind if just proved all the points I made yesterday didn't I? 

Did you manage to get through the day unscathed? 

The Valentines Post

I know, I know, there are valentines posts all over the blogosphere. Happy, slushy, romantic noises of love. I don't want to be a part of the herd but it's valentines day and it's a blog post must. I will take a different slant on the day though. 

I don't want to know what wonderful romantic things you are doing today, or what stunningly sentimental acts of love have been put to you. I'm going to ask for your honest thoughts on this seemingly growing "holiday" (even though we don't get a holiday)

From my point of view, a commercial day only. 

I know valentines has its history seeped in romantic secrecy. A religious man (Valentine) marrying people in secret but now it appears to have a whole new concept.

Its a day where the main benifitters are the card companies, flower sellers and eateries. We are told that we must show our partners how much we love them or risk being labelled unromantic. 

As well as the unromantic label, valentines day can be hurtful to those without a partner at that point I time. It can reinforce the self negativity people carry with them. Lack of cards, declaration of love or candle lit home made meals does not mean you are unworthy or unlovable, it means you are either in a solid loving relationship that doesn't need to be dictated to about you show your affection, or at this point in time, you don't have a partner but should be loving yourself. Love yourself and it makes it so much easier for others to love you. 

I don't need a commercial day to tell my husband that he should do something "nice" for me. I expect his continued love and support all year as he expects from me. If people think showing love is a once a year thing, you're in for a long slow year between dates. 

So even though valentines day does has it's own start somewhere back in history, today is little more than a commercial gimmick. 

Yes the majority of holidays now are commercial gimmicks, but not ones that drive sensible grown adults crying into their frappachino cups. 

Let's accept for what it is. A gimmicky day. Enjoy it if it's something you do, but also give someone special something extra tomorrow. A thoughtful cup of tea in bed before their alarm goes off or a foot rub at the end of a busy day. Love is for life, not just a day. 

Interview with Author D.J.Kirkby

Todays post is a question and answer session with published author D.J.Kirkby. Denyse wrote Without Alice, a brilliant book about Stephen, a man with a secret, a man “who you will love to hate until you learn to love him.”  When I read Without Alice I loved the feeling of real emotion and the complexity of intertwined lives so I asked Denyse if she wouldn't mind popping over to Life in Clarity to answer a few questions about her writers journey. She very kindly obliged.

Firstly Denyse, I want to thank you for taking the time to come over to Life in Clarity to answer a few questions. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.

How did the idea for Without Alice come about?

The concept for Without Alice came about during my years of clinical practice as a midwife. As a midwife you are witness to some of the very worst and best of human interaction and relationships. Once in a while relationships I had observed would stick in my head making me wonder how different their relationship might have been if their circumstances had changed or they had communicated with each other better or differently. I began playing around with these scenarios and from that time Without Alice began to take shape.

I love watching people interact, it always amazes me how completely different everyone is. When you started putting these thoughts down was it the first time you had written or is it something you've always done?

I've written since I could string enough words together to form a coherent sentence :) I love writing, it is my way of making sense of the world and one of the ways I clear my mind.

How did Without Alice go from your written version to published book?

WA went to BubbleCow for a professional edit before I subbed it to my publisher because I am dyslexic and I wanted to make sure it was in the best shape possible so I didn't embarrass myself. It worked and my publisher offered me a contract at last year's London Book Fair. He then did an edit of WA too. By the time it was ready for publication I was sick of the sight of it though by the time it was on general release I had fallen in love with it all over again.

How exciting was it to see your book in print?

It was very nice, it looked pretty, and I felt very proud of it. I still do!

Can I ask what you are currently working on?

I am currently working on my next novel – Love and Other Lies and there is an excerpt from it on my blog: I am also writing a non-fiction book called Butterfly Babies – Modern midwifery is more than just a delivery service and the excerpt is here: Butterfly Babies.

And where can Life in Clarity readers get hold of a copy of Without Alice?

Without Alice can be ordered from any bookstore as well as any online bookshop. Paper copies cost around £6.99 but Amazon has digital copies for sale for £0.86 and $1.36 which can be read on Kindle, iPods, PC’s and many other systems.

All that is left to say, is thank you so much for talking to me about this and to wish you all the best with your current venture. I can't wait to read it!

Thank you for interviewing me on your blog, and for being such great company on twitter!

For anyone wanting to follow Denyse, you can find her on Twitter and on the Without Alice Facebook page.

Bobbies Surgery

This morning I left Bob at the vets for her surgery. She was to have the lump removed from under her ear and while she was under the anesthetic she was to be spayed.

She hates the vets as it is. There's no real reason for this, she's been a pretty healthy dog. This morning when I handed over the lead to the nurse, her poor little face said it all.

"Where are you going?" 


"Why are you leaving me?"


"Don't leave me!"

I collected her this afternoon. She shuffled to her bed and lay down and closed her eyes and she hasn't opened them since. I know she sleeping the anesthetic off and I know she's going to feel sore when she finally wakes up. Now we just have to wait for the results of tests on the removed lump. I'm still using positive thinking and will not worry until I'm told otherwise.

I leave you with the sleeping Bob.

Work Experience for teenagers

My eldest, the teenager, started work experience this week. She couldn't get her first choice which was a laboratory so the only option left by the time she found out, was a hairdressers. This amused me greatly. Not because I have anything against hairdressers, far from it in fact. My hairdresser is fab.

 I thought it was amusing because she often asks why her Dad and I are tired after work and doesn't understand, working, running a house and looking after kids is tiring. Now I knew she would be on her feet at the hairdressers all day long and not being used to it, she would be shattered. Low and behold she was in bed at 630pm last night! Boy did I chuckle at her, much to her disdain. 

She is enjoying it but it's not what she wants to do and she prefers school so hopefully she will stay on for A levels now she's found out working life isn't easy. 

Score one for mum!

How have your family members done exactly as you expected, even when they thought they wouldn't?

Twitter - Connection or Privacy?

I think twitter is brilliant. I'm am an out and out fan. As I've probably said on here on several occasions It's connected me to lots of people I would never have otherwise met. Fellow writers, slimming worlders, open university students and just some genuinely lovely people. 

It has also created a world where celebrities, be they minor league or A list, feel that little bit closer to us and more human, more real. Some even use twitter to converse with us ordinary folk. I must say, just because it excited me so much, that Dave Vitty of Chris Moyles radio show and Dancing on Ice fame, replied to my tweets twice on Sunday. Twitter makes the world smaller, turns the celebs into real people rather than untouchable people we just see on the tv and a bit if fun is had, as well as issues shared. 

Some celebs however, tend to go a little over the top on twitter. Giving us high dramas told in real time. These outbursts make me smile. It's the Internet. The press are watching with their beady eyes just waiting for that slip, and they do invariably come, because those celebs, well, they really are people. 

Do we come to expect people to share their issues in public though? We love it and we soak it in. If we didn't the press wouldn't be as determined as they can be to get stories. Do the celebs who tweet feel they owe us their honesty once they start?

I'm only asking this after reading in one of the national papers, outpourings of support for Amanda Holden and her family after the loss of their baby boy. One of the things I noticed was half the quotes of support were from twitter feeds and now I raise the question, is this appropriate? 

If the celebs offering support know Amanda then surely a text, a card, some flowers would be more appropriate and more personal at such a time? I tweeted that it was a terrible loss, but I don't know her and I didn't send it to her. It's very personal. 

Are the celebs who tweeted sympathy also doing the private card/flower buying thing, but feeling pressured to show they care in such a public inane way as twitter because this is the world we are now entering. If they don't tweet her their sympathy then it looks as though they don't care because we can't see it?!

Are we taking it too far and expecting too much or is it right that the very painful loss of a child, be shared like it belongs to all?