Friday, 5 November 2010

My First Friday Flash


“Get away from me!” She screamed.
He looked at her, feeling defeated.
“If you come near me one more time, I swear to God I will cut it off with a hack saw!”
He winced

Night was drawing in and the blinds had been closed. The bed covers were strewn across the end of the bed, rumpled and discarded whilst the television mindlessly chattered. He took a deep breath. He hated to see her hurting this way. Her words cutting him, their sharpness stinging his cheeks. He wanted to walk away, if only for a minute. To take quiet air in, gather himself and then go back. He knew he couldn't. He had to stay, had to listen. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“I hate you so much right now!” She continued her tirade. The volume of her words accelerating rapidly upwards. He watched as her fists clenched, her jaw working between outbursts. He wanted so desperately to hold her, to tell her everything would be OK, but he knew he couldn't. He had to stay where he was and take what she threw, silently, without protest. It had been going on for such a long time. He wanted it to stop. He looked at her lovely face, so contorted, beads of sweat running from her hairline as she screamed louder.

 Hot and sweaty, he had never seen her more beautiful, than now, as she gave birth to their first child.


  1. HA!!! Yes! Nice twist. Lot's of strong emotion coming through. Not how expected that fight to end! Well done

  2. I love it! Now this is great writing. Get the reader looking right, then make a sharp left turn. Well done.

  3. Great first flash - well done!

    Loved how you got us all thinking that she'd caught him in bed with someone else and then bam! Baby!

    Great stuff x

  4. What a great flash for your debut, nice work! Unexpected turn there :)

  5. Thank you so much for your comments. It's lovely to know that you have taken the time to read what I've written and it's such a great feeling to receive positive comments. Thank you!